Having Faith
by LilLuminaryThings
Summary: Mamoru comes to visit Usagi after a few months after going to Harvard. How will Mamoru handle his feelings of jealousy seeing Seiya flirt with Usagi?
1. Chapter 1

A/N – So this is my second story, and the original plot that I had lined up ended up not being what happened when I actually started writing. I, of course, don't own Sailor Moon or anything really. I just love being able to sometimes play with these characters to varying degrees of success. So, thanks for reading!

It's not that Mamoru was never jealous; he was often enough. Not of other people typically, though that had happened once or twice. Normally the thing that made Mamoru fume with envy was how easy of a time everyone else had of connection. Especially with the women that he had loved for more than one lifetime and with all his sad, sorrowful little soul. Which were the thoughts that were circling in his head as he leaned back and watched Usako lean in close to someone he had only heard about in letters so far. Her companion had long black hair, pulled back into a skinny ponytail. Seiya. They were standing over a video game, shoulder to shoulder, Usagi leaned over and pointing at the screen. Mamoru was just watching, mainly because Usako didn't know that he was here yet.

Mamoru had been there for a few hours before Usagi has arrived, finding comfort in Motoki's friendly face and stories of how him and Reika had been over the last few months. The smells of the place wafted through, milkshakes and fries and awkward young kids trying to flirt and get attention from awkward young girls. For a few minutes Mamoru relived the feeling of a lost high schooler who spent his hours waiting for a blonde girl to come too loudly into the small arcade space so that he could spend some time sparring with her. Needing Usagi in his life but being unaware of how to get her there in a permanent, positive capacity.

Now he'd been in America for the past couple of months now, at Harvard. Phone calls, text messages, video chats and letters were all that managed to get him through the fact that the most important part of his soul was half of the world away. The contact was nice, he loved all the letters and texts, more than he would probably openly admit. But he missed holding her at night, sneaking kisses after battles and watching her as she saved the planet in a million different ways. Which is what led to the surprise trip around the Christmas holidays that landed him in the Fruit Parlor unbeknownst to his odangoed one. He wasn't totally surprised to find Seiya and Usagi together, Usagi had mentioned it in a message or a call the other day, that's one of the reasons he'd shown up here knowing she'd be at the Fruit Parlor.

The thing he hadn't really expected, the thing that made his eyes turn into slits and made him grip his still too warm coffee a little tighter, was just how familiar they were with each other. Seiya and Usagi had walked in with his arm thrown around her shoulders, which she had quickly shrugged off and shoved him forward, to the game that there were playing. Seiya was very open in his flirting, which Usagi would sometimes blush or roll her eyes at. This was also not a total surprise to Mamoru, she'd mentioned it in passing a few times, in a slightly naïve and off handed kind of way. Mamoru had huffed slightly, seeing and knowing were sometimes two different things, he thought as his chest panged as Seiya leaned into too closely to Usagi's face.

It seemed that Usagi noticed that something felt different because her head came up, and her eyes looked around confused until they meet with Mamoru's. The way the excitement filled her body made Mamoru inflate, his breathe sucked in at being in the center of her orbit. Her eyes lite up, she pulled away from Seiya as if she forgot he existed, which made Mamoru feel smug inside his own head. Her body moved the moment she recognized him, she pushed through the arcade and jumped at him as he stood up. The full body impact was so instantly a relief to him that he breathed in deeply, all the millions of time that they'd ran into each other before being relived by the cells in his body. His very core yearned for her while he was away, his very core sung at him while she pushed hard into him.

She felt like home, Mamoru thought as he closed his eyes, cheek pressed to hers, pulling her up into his arms. "Mamo-chan." She whispered into his hair by his ear as her feet touched the ground, "Oh gods, I have missed you!" She pulled back to look at him, tiny tears in her eyes. She leaned up pressing her lips to his. Mamoru wasn't typically one for public displays of affection but being so close after being away for so long, he cupped her face with his hand and met her halfway. She tasted like candy as her lips parted eagerly for him. After a moment, he intensely reluctantly pulled away from her, only moving back so far to rest his forehead on hers. Small tears still in her eyes but with a smile that had never been bigger. Behind them he heard someone clear their throat.

"Oh Odango, did you forget about me?" Seiya's voice sounded clearly agitated as he stepped up toward them. Seiya was a handsome man, Mamoru thought as he peered up over Usagi's head. He felt her turn in his arm to face her friend as his tangled into the lose hair in her pigtail, gently pulling it. She turned her head to the side and smiled but leaned back further into Mamoru. He smiled into her hair as his arm weaving around her shoulders and pulling her closer still. He again breathed her in, at any other point he might have been embarrassed at his disregard for social propriety but fuck - he had missed her. Seiya's eye flickered up towards him, scowling lightly for a second before he smiled charmingly at Mamoru.

"Seiya-kun, this is my Mamo-chan." Usagi said kindly as she stepped slightly to the side and motioned towards him. Seiya took the hand Mamoru extended and shook it roughly. Mamoru felt his shoulders tense, his breath caught in his chest, as his eyes widened slightly. Emotions flowed through him rather suddenly. These emotions were so intimately known to him, such longing and the loneliness and isolation that had existed in his own past. Seiya removed his hand quickly, almost jerking back, his eyes narrowed suspiciously at the man as he stepped back.

"It is nice to finally meet Odango's distraction," Seiya said in clipped tones as he turned to face Usagi. Mamoru felt himself bristle a little, both at being considered a distraction and because Odango was **his **nickname. "Does this change the fact that you've lost a bet with me and must attend the festival with me tonight?"

Usagi's face flared as anger burned in her eyes, "You cheated with that bet, Baka!" She almost screamed, but looked up out of the corner of her eye at Mamoru, she murmured "But would you mind going to the festival with us Mamo-Chan? It would be so nice to go with you too. The girls are already coming." Mamoru would give her anything within his power now, so he nodded once and watched the smile spread across her face once again. His heart hammered in his chest as she ran her down his arm and took his hand as she stepped further away. Beside them Seiya huffed out a small sigh but went and gathered the bags they had brought in with them. Handing them over, Mamoru took Usagi's bag, as Seiya said he'd meet at the gates to the park later.

The smile on his face reminded him of a most basic truth of his existence, Usagi was a beautiful distraction from his studies and a beautiful reminder of all her was working towards. She was pulling him back towards his apartment where Mamoru not to secretly hoped they spend some time re-enacting some of the more risqué texts that got sent on some of their lonelier nights. Getting lost in her arms for the next few hours would give him plenty of ammunition for the future messages that would get sent.

The time passed too quickly, Mamoru reflected as he wiped the mirror off in his bathroom after his shower. Usagi was humming in his bedroom, dancing around as she got redressed from her own shower. Mamoru wondered for a moment if he was going to be able to go back to Harvard after this week, his heart clenched painfully at the prospect. Stepping out of the bathroom, a small warm smile on his face watching Usagi put her hair back into her odangos.

"Odango Atama." He stated with a knowing look in his eye. Usagi's face pulled into a pretty scowl as she turned to him from the mirror on his dresser, she stuck her tongue out at him but didn't respond. "Usako," He stated as he pulled her to him when she finished, "I… how would you feel if I didn't return to Harvard after this week." Her giggle as she leaned up to kiss him pulled at his lips. Resting her forehead to his, their breathe mingling as Usagi pushed up to her tip toes to press soft kisses to his lips.

"I won't pretend that I wouldn't be happy to have you back," Usagi said, running her arms around his waist to hug him, "But you started this so Mamo-chan you have to finish it!" She sounded so impassioned. "I'll be here when you get back." She murmured more softly. There was a sadness in her face, and a few tears in her eyes that made Mamoru's jaw clench and he hugged her tighter.

"I know that I started this but with the new enemies that have been showing up, I am concerned that this isn't a more important place for me to be right now." He paused considering his words, "I don't like to idea of you fighting without me being here. I really don't like hearing about your battles and your wounds after they happen." His voice had a slight edge to it. He felt like her was putting her in danger by not being here to keep her safe. He was letting her down.

"I'm never really alone Mamo-chan." Usagi said gently, assuaging his guilty conscious just a little bit. "The girls will always keep me safe and I am the most powerful thing in all of creation." She stated very matter of fact, a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her face but still a few tears in her eyes.

"I've always been with you in battle Usako, even when I didn't know anything else, I knew deep inside I had to be there." His voice had taken on a gruff tone, "I'm never more than a phone call away. And I miss you." He stated softly. He pulled her closer still and danced her around his apartment slowly until her phone started to ring letting them know it was time to head to the festival tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N – I will probably re-edit this later. I am not 100% sure that it goes in the direction that I was trying to get it into but after staring at it for a few days I Don't think I'm going to be able to do much more with it for right now. The ending is the only part that I am confident in.

The festival was a nice homecoming, Mamoru thought as they headed towards the loud noises and laughs. The bright lights of the carousel rides and the smells of the street vendors as Usako pulled him towards their friends, as well as a couple of people Mamoru didn't personally know. Usako had yet to let go of him since he'd arrived home earlier. The time spent at his apartment was like being able to fully breathe for the first time in months. Four months to be exact.

Were there good enough words for the kind of longing he went through while at Harvard? Mamoru had been alone for a long period of his life, the time in foster care, the times without his memories, all the time he'd broken up with Usako. He had thought then that being without but still "running into" her everyday was the worst thing ever but being without her for any extended period was way worse. He knew that going to Harvard was his idea, he'd applied on a whim right toward the end of their breakup, and when he hadn't heard anything for a while, he'd forgotten about it. The acceptance letter later had thrown him for a loop, and even though he knew it would be one hell of an opportunity when he told Usagi about it, he was kind of hoping she'd tell him no. He had wanted to go but at the same time he'd wished he could stay. Not that it was all bad, if he learned nothing else from Harvard, he now knew just how much Usako waking up next to him matter. He knew how much he missed taking her on little dates, going for picnics, even buying her dinner just to watch her enjoy her food.

It was one of the reasons coming to the festival tonight didn't seem to be such a big deal even though it was not something he would have chosen to do himself. He missed making memories with Usagi, missed being a part of her stories instead of just hearing about them later. So, as she pulled him along, he couldn't help but smile back at her when her eyes sparkled as she pulled him just a little faster towards the fun. The girls all waved at him, as Usagi pulled back off his arm and moved her hand into his instead, he missed the warmth immediately. He was very pleased to see the girls, even Minako who was giving him a rather knowing look, Usagi had probably been sharing their text messages despite his request for her not to. Seiya was standing with something in between a pout and scowl on, what Mamoru would admit, his pretty face. Leaning against the wall beside him was another dark-haired man, whose hair was also pulled back into a ponytail, Mamoru guessed he was also part of the band. His green eyes were narrowed slightly but for the most part his face was unreadable. There was another starlight with his nose in the air, he looked both bored and agitated at the noise and the growing crowd that was starting to gather.

Usagi pulled him through the small crowd that was beginning for form around them as they slowly got recognized by fans. Mamoru schooled his face as he felt annoyance begin to creep at all the attention and was a little perturb at Usagi's ability to ignore it all. "Mamo-chan, this is Yaten-kun and this is Taiki-san. They are Seiya-kun's bandmates, I'm sure you've read all about them in the letters I've sent." Usagi said cheerfully. Mamoru nodded affirmatively, he'd read most of them more than once when homesickness and his Usagi-less existence would hit him especially hard. He wasn't advertising that information to anyone else though. With a nod, he shook both of their hands, a similar strike of emotion hit him with them that he'd felt earlier in the arcade with Seiya. There was some deep pain to be found here, but his thoughts were swept to the side as Rei came up and gave him a hug. Makota and Minako just waved and Ami fell into step beside him asking him questions about his programs and his grades. The other two Starlights fell in with the girls as the group moved into the main parts of the festival.

The lights bounced off tents as smells encircled them and his conversation with Ami continued, he felt Usagi release his hand. He opened his mouth to protest when he saw Seiya grab her hand and pull her towards one of the stalls that had a game to win a plushie. Seiya's pout had vanished, his face showed full bravado as he showed off to a slightly exasperated but still giggling Usagi. It must have been Mamoru's turn to scowl because he heard Ami trail off asking about experimental procedures and a small smile graced her face when he looked back down.

His half-hearted to reply to his half-heard question was cut off when Ami in her matter-of-fact voice stated, "He can be a bit loud sometimes but he's really not that bad." The knowing look in her eyes lacked any pity, which Mamoru was grateful for. She continued, "If you'd like you can go rescue her from him if you'd like."

"No," He said simply, though it did cause him a little bit of discomfort which was only aided by Usagi's happy yelp and the hug she gave Seiya when he won the prize and handed it to her. Briefly Seiya's eyes met his, the challenge fully evident in them. Seiya pulled Usagi along to another game booth and Mamoru turned back to Ami, shaking his head slightly, "What was your question, Mizuno-san?" He did sound a little gruff, but Ami made no mention of it as they continued talking about challenges he'd dealt with at Harvard. Taiki drifted toward them, taking part in some of the questions of education. Soon though Mamoru was excluded from the conversation as Taiki lightly flirted with Ami.

Usagi had made her way back to his side, listening in as his conversation closed and slipped her hand gently back into his. Towards the front one of the groups mentioned riding one of the bigger rides, it made Mamoru's head hurt just looking at it. "You go ahead Usako, I'm going to keep my feet on the ground and my lunch in my stomach." Usako stuck her tongue out at him again and leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek. The girls and two of the Starlight's got in line for the ride while Seiya and Mamoru waited by the exit. A handful at a time girl of varies ages would walk up to them with hearts in their eyes, grating more and more on Mamoru's nerves as Seiya seemingly basked the more he noticed Mamoru's discomfort with it.

"You're such an amazing idol," One girl said as she asked for Seiya's autograph. "Your songs are so beautiful about a lost princess and a lost love. How do you come up with them?" Mamoru felt every fiber of his being go taunt as Seiya leaned forward. Seiya's face wore a sad smile and a doe-eyed look.

"I just think about being in love with someone like you." Seiya said with so much flattery and false sincerity that Mamoru scoffed openly as the teenaged girl walked away in a daze. Seiya's eyes narrowed slightly even as he smiled bigger. "Have something you want to say, Chiba?" Mamoru clenched his jaw, determined for the moment not to be pulled into an argument. He wasn't here for this, his eyes wandered to Usagi who was in line with the girls, showing them something on her phone with a smile on her face. Seiya, for all that he could handle though, didn't seem to be able to handle being ignored. "I asked you a question, you're not being very polite." He grumbled.

"Does that line work for you very often?" Mamoru snapped back, his mind slightly circling around the notion of unreciprocated love with a lost princess, thinking of all that could entail with Usagi.

"More often than it doesn't." Seiya's quippy and snide retort making Mamoru's shoulders tense again. "I mean, we have to use what we've got. We can't all abandon lovesick girls to go study in America." There was a moment where Mamoru saw red, squeezed his hand into a fist, and thought he hadn't been Tuxedo Kamen in almost half a year, but he was more than willing in that split second to dust off the mask, cape and long cane. Especially the long cane. What would that headline look like? Tuxedo Kamen beats up lead singer of the StarLights band after six-month absence. Mamoru huffed and gritted his teeth as he saw half of the group get into the pod for the ride, remembering to breathe and trying hard to ignore Seiya's smug ego as it inflated next to him.

A handful of defenses came to and died in Mamoru's throat. He wasn't about to tell Seiya that he missed Usako just as much if not more than she missed him. Usako made friends with lampposts, she was always surrounded and loved, people were drawn to her like she was the sun. And really she might as well be. Mamoru went to school, he got along well enough with everyone, but he didn't really hang out or have friends, Harvard wasn't going to be permeant and he didn't see much of a point despite Usagi's instances. There were a million things that Mamoru could say but none that he would. He had no desire to entrust any of himself to Seiya, so instead he stared ahead, looking for blonde odangos so that he could remember what he had come here for.

Seiya on the other hand seemed more than pleased to know that he had found some button of Mamoru's to push. He opened his mouth but before he could get a word out there was another young girl asking for his autograph. One turned to five and by the time young fans were done hearing his lies about what inspired his songs, the group of getting off the ride. It was the first time all night he looked annoyed at being singled out for attention.

Usagi came running down, exuberant and bright, turning to Seiya she rolled her eyes and said in a slightly mocking tone. "If you think we can tear you from your adoring fans long enough to go grab a bite," She spun slightly towards Mamoru, "I'm hungry Mamo-Chan." She said in a small kind of whine, making Mamoru chuckle. The tenseness lost as she gave him another kiss on the cheek. "You know, Seiya and I have to sit for one of those caricature pictures after. That's what I lost when I lost the bet but we're going to eat first. I'm going to need my energy if I'm going to have to sit with this massive ego for any amount of time." Usagi stated, then looked at Seiya as even more fan walked up for autographs. "Baka." She muttered, pulling Mamoru away with her.

After they found ramen, sushi and mochi for Usako and she'd put a sizeable dent in his wallet as he smiled, they started walking looking for a booth to do Seiya and Usako's caricature. Seiya was teasing Usako in a flirty manner that reminded Mamoru too much of a youth trying similar tactics but not being able to pull it off as well. For a moment Mamoru considered leaving, he knew Seiya was just trying to get under his skin, but the arsehole was good at it. Right now, he doubted how much Usako would even notice. She was being pulled from Seiya in between Raye and Minkao, who were whispering conspiratorially at her while she blushed deeper and deeper. He was pretty sure the comment about working up an appetite had creeped back to him through the other sounds, but he might have been imaging things. Though with Minako the only thing he knew for sure was that he did not want to be an active part of that conversation.

It wasn't that he doubted that she'd miss him… just that all at once the way he didn't quite fit with all the smiling and teasing, the way the group had in large part formed without him and he was standing in the middle of something he didn't really belong to. Like a rock stuck in a lake as the water flowed around it. The worst part was she was also just giving him the space he had always asked for a million times before, when he asked for fewer public displays of affection or some space even within the group. Something he was regretting immensely now. He was just about to fall back and sneak out when there was a loud explosion to the side.

It had been a while since the last battle he was a part of, but somethings really are just hardwired into his very being, and so without the slightest bit of hesitation he went for her. Mamoru grabbed her quickly from the middle of the group and jerked her down, the girls all pulling themselves back into safety too. Mamoru pulling her away from the sound searching for a safe place to transform. The fight itself was difficult and judging from the reaction of the girls they had been being difficult, something Usako was underselling to him in their varies forms of communication. Something he would be bringing up later then.

There was something about being back in battle with her that reminded him how well they fit together. All the scouts but especially Sailor Moon had grown so much over the past few months, and though it gave him another pang of jealousy to not be a part of this growth, he was as always awed by her. In this way too, when Sailor Moon held complete trust in Tuxedo Kamen, the way she knew he would catch her when she feel and the way the red rose would stop an attack or he'd grab her and protect her with his cape. Their strengths shined when they fully trusted and relied on each other. They had the villain almost beat when the Sailor Starlights showed up, they eyed Tuxedo Kamen with suspicion, and he felt a little vindication when he accidentally tripped up Sailor Star Fighter with a rose though he wasn't sure why. Once the battle was over and all was healed, the girls and Mamoru found the Star Lights not too far from the rubble where the attack started. They were getting press attention for making sure everyone was safe since a "pipe exploded". Mamoru held back his groan but rolled his eyes as one reporter stated, "From Super Stars to Superheroes."

Later as the festival drew to a close with fireworks, Mamoru went to get Usako more mochi, "Fighting a super villain takes a lot of energy after all Mamo-Chan", when he felt someone walking up behind him. He turned sharply and came face to face with Seiya, who looked at him with wide eyes faintly surprised. "You really do have decent reflexes, Mamoru-baka." Mamoru chuckled.

"Well a few years of being run into by an Odango Atama will do that to a person." He said, turning back around looking for the food truck. They didn't have long before the fireworks would start, and Mamoru wanted to be with Usako for that. He almost didn't hear Seiya when he spoke again.

"I saw you; you know." Seiya stated calmly, and Mamoru felt his blood run cold for a second. His fear that he'd only been here once and given away Usako's identity terrified him, but he held his reaction and gave Seiya a quizzing look. "When the building exploded the very first thing you did was pull Odango away from the danger. And I really want to hate you for leaving her here, and because I am in love with her. But then you go and do something like that." His face had an agitated look on it, but it didn't quite reach his eyes, which just looked kind of sad.

Mamoru felt his eyebrows draw together, the relief that he hadn't exposed Usagi followed closely by the wave of despair that rolled off Seiya and insecurity that was inherent in Mamoru. For a moment, Mamoru just stood and stared at Seiya, the memory of shaking his hand in the arcade swept through him and he thought of Usako. With a sigh, Mamoru motioned for Seiya to follow him, "We better find her mochi or she'll kill me." There was a moment of tenseness as Seiya looked disbelieving at Mamoru.

"Don't worry, I'm not surprised you're in love with Usako. And mi not mad at you for it either. She's got this… beauty about her. It draws people in. I belong to her though and she belongs to me and not in just some caveman kind of way where I'm the only one who should her affection, even now she's wrapped in the arms of her friends, I'd put money on it." Mamoru said as they got to the front of the line. He paid for her mochi, and as they walked back through the crowd Mamoru kept talking. "I love the smile on her face when she eats too much, when she's had a sweet thought, or she can't wait to tell you a secret."

Mamoru sighed, stopping as they neared the place, they'd settled to watch the fireworks show, "I've not always been the best boyfriend, but she chooses me repeatedly. Even when I don't deserve to be chosen like that. And I believe in Usako, the way some people believe in God. And if she told me she needed me to come home tomorrow I would. Damn Harvard. Damn the whole world, for Usako I would. All I'm working for doesn't mean a thing if she's not here with me. So yes Seiya-Kuhn right now I am away. I know it is hard on Usako, it's hard on me. But my hopes are that being a doctor, professionally trained and educated, will enable us to have a wonderful future. And you can try whatever to your hearts content while I'm away." Seiya's eyes widened, as Mamoru gave him a small smile and continued, "Usako will be here for me when I get back. She's never given up on me, even when I've given her more than enough reason to. I'm never going to give her a reason to."

"You don't deserve her," Seiya said, sounding petulant but then with a sigh said, "I thought earlier I might actually have a chance when you were being an ass. I hate you even more because I think you might actually be worth her waiting for."

Mamoru chuckled again, the ease that he could only imagine came from the adrenaline rush of the earlier batter. "No, I'm probably not. But that doesn't mean I'm going to give her away."

Seiya pouted for a moment, "Damn you, I don't stand a chance. I just met you and I'm a little in love with you." At that Mamoru gave a deep laugh, making Usako and the group turn and look as him and Seiya walked down the hill together.

Mamoru had no doubt that she was completely devoted to him, the very same way that he was to her. He'd seen it in more than one lifetime, as a princess who defied her kingdom for a prince with a red rose. As a young teenage girl, with the world depending on her time and time again, she had been through hell for him in ways that made him wince when thought too hard about it. She loves him, even now, in a way that if he can just remember to trust he can fall safely into the same way she falls safely into him. In the battlefield, and in everyday life.


End file.
